Choices

I've been thinking a lot about choices lately. It all started last week in the Washington Reagan airport as we were making our way to Nashville. Evan decided he wanted to sit down on the floor in the middle of the airport. This wasn't a good choice for several reasons. First, there were crazy travelers with big pieces of luggage rushing around. Second, we hadn't even made our way to security and we were getting a little close on time. And third, well, who knows what kind of germs were lurking on that floor.

I gave Evan two choices--he could walk next to the stroller or he could sit in the stroller and have a snack and play with his cars (Come on--is this really a choice? I would have given my left arm at that point for someone to push me around the airport while allowing me to eat Goldfish Crackers and play with Lightening McQueen). Soon I had to introduce the third choice to Evan--should he not choose the previous two options he would get to be strapped into the stroller. He hates those stupid straps. I'm not sure why the choice was so difficult, but after some casual sitting on the floor, I had to scoop Evan up, arms flailing and strap him in the stroller. The tears started flowing (his, not mine) and tried to retain my calm demeanor the best I could. Evan can put up quite a struggle when he wants to.

After he was strapped in, we hurried to security. He was crying pretty hard and I talked with him about the choices he had made and how he had made a bad choice that led to him being strapped in the stroller. It broke my heart, but it was a necessary evil. I promised him that once we got through security I would give him a chance to make a better choice. He told me he would like that and about 15 minutes later we both lived up to our ends of the bargain. (And, let me tell you, for the rest of the trip when he had an option of walking next to the stroller or riding of his own free will, he was pretty quick to take advantage of one of those choices. At one point he was walking so close to the stroller I was running over his little feet!)

But, all of those lectures on choices have made me re-evaluate some of the choices I make each day. It almost doesn't seem fair that I get to make the not-so-perfect choice and get away with it just because no one is watching. Like today, I had leftover buffalo chicken strips, potato chips and dip for lunch (thank you Superbowl). That was a pretty bad choice. Sometimes I choose to try to work while watching t.v. If only my mom were here to make me turn it off.

There are other choices I make that send the wrong message. Sometimes I go to bed without walking downstairs to say goodnight to Bryan when he is working late simply because those extra 20 steps just seem too tiring. A better choice would at least be yelling goodnight from the top of the stairs.

Every so often I do make some good choices. This weekend I had an e-mail from a mom who got my name off the parent resource list provided by the Vascular Birthmark Foundation. Her little girl has a hemangioma similar to Evan's. Talking with her reminded me of what a confusing and scary time that was in our lives and made me happy I had decided to list my name on the VBF's Web site. It also reminded me that having Evan's hemangioma removed was the absolute best choice for our family.

Choosing to go freelance was also one of the best choices I've ever made. I've been lucky enough to have steady work and spend more time with Evan. I'm also glad I chose to marry a CPA since it seems like I get a new 1099 each day. Oh--and speaking of choosing to marry a CPA, I do have to say that marrying Bryan was a very good choice!